Content-Type: text/richtext; name="Day 32.rtf" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit Content-Disposition: attachment; filename="Day 32.rtf" {\rtf1\ansi\ansicpg1252\deff0\deflang1033{\fonttbl{\f0\froman\fprq2\fcharset0 Times New Roman;}{\f1\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Arial;}{\f2\fswiss\fprq2\fcharset0 Franklin Gothic Medium;}{\f3\fswiss\fcharset0 Arial;}} {\*\generator Msftedit 5.41.15.1507;}\viewkind4\uc1\pard\b\f0\fs44\tab Day 32: \tab\ul Using What God Gave You\par \pard\fi1440\f1\fs36\par \pard\fi1440\ri-720\ulnone\b0\f2\fs30 Since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in \tab\tab Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be.\par \tab\tab Romans 12:5(Msg)\par \par \i What you are us God's gift to you; what you do with yourself is your gift to God.\par \tab\tab\b\i0 Danish proverb\par \b0\fs40\par \pard\fi990\ri-720\tx1440\f0 1. \tab\tab What did God give you that is/was helpful to you? Share your experiences.\par \par \par \par \par \par \par \par \par \par \par 2. \tab\tab How can you make the best use of what God has given you?\ul\b\fs30\par \pard\fi1440\fs44\par \pard\ulnone\b0\f3\fs20\par } -orientation.html">cca orientation
  • i have no lyfe
  • the higher chinese ten yr series
  • the sister in law
  • the quiz
  • God
  • the coral island
  • oops
  • the list
  • the catcher in the rye
  • ah ma
    bibs
    ching
    clara
    derrick
    hwee
    mich
    melvin
    seems
    shuhui
    wang
    sf worship schedules
    211
    rosyth p6gep01




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      >in fact she's pissed. making me damn pissed too. like i want it. the feeling she gave me is tt all she cares abt is the cost. money tt is. i came home, dug out all my savings (only around $300) and gave to her, only for her to reject saying tt she doesnt mind. haiz. cant blame my parents. my family has been living each month just nicely with my dad's meagre salary. $480 is a lot. a lot.

    i am troubled. i seemed destined for injuries. wait till i go to NUH for my deformed toe. yeah the one tt was stepped on. simply stepped on. how lucky isn't it. how great. haiz. i have this feeling tt the toe's gonna take time to heal too.

    time. i have held onto this faith and believe for 2 and a half years. more than half of my secondary school life. i admit i really care abt how i look. and having the right built will give me strength and confidence. my ncc life is always incomplete. i feel incomplete. every training i drag myself there. everytime being weak. everytime doubted. anyone knows how this feel? I pushed on... and on... of course ppl along the way gave me faith. Kep Yong, Dawei, even Lujie. Lujie always provide tt competition. and I have always felt unfair tt I always lost cuz of this incompleteness. as a part b PS, seriously this aspect is impt. at this stage the cadets look up to u. just like how i look up to dick for his physical prowess. makes me feel secure. maybe i shouldn't have fought for this place. all wrong. I din foresee this. Too engrossed in winning a high post, to make myself recognised, to prove to others tt my injuries ain't feigned. But all backfired. and I would agree tt another guy like Soon Huat or Lionel could have done a better job than me. Kep Yong din see this either.... cuz he wouldnt have understood.

    In normal life, i hate it, and i mean i REALLY HATE it when ppl use their brute force to hold me down, or threaten me. those gangsters at the block. maybe i went into the wrong path. should have just joined x-country then, and i am very certain i am a top tracker now. but again, it's maybe just my destiny to be like tt. and maybe i am saved by not joining track. cuz i am always injured and in track, i will nv ever excel.

    just hope this ESWT will help me. really help me get back the feeling i haven't really had all my life. the feeling of strength. something tt makes me confident.

    anyway, my depressed nick on msn actually invited tiffany to talk to me... she ain't tt bad a person as many made her out to be. yeah she was very... erm... many would say bu yao lian in the past. but she has changed i guess. sometimes trying so hard. too hard. ppl think she's extra. maybe being natural is the best. i have similar feelings at times too. sometimes i just tell myself to be natural, budden at certain situations i really cant do tt. haiz. nvm.

    today i was so depressed, my facial expression was really scary. glaring at everything around me. so much so tt a baby crying stopped upon seeing my glare. haiyoz. havent been like tt for a long time. but i guess i will be back to normal tmr. i have always been. fits of anger, fits of unhappiness. then i will be back to my lame and stupid self. it's definitely a trait tt i cherish a lot. i can take and let go very easily. I dun bear grudges, dun hate ppl. sometimes i tell myself to dao a guy for a few days but i have nv done tt. it's just not me i guess.

    my goals this year are just so simple to many. but special to myself.

    To become injury-free and strong enough to attend a truely NCC camp for myself. I'll be really ecstatic.

    To move into top 10 in 4I

    learn to socialise more. my socialising skills suck.

    simple isn't it?

    posted by renar @ 1/25/2005 09:56:27 PM  0 comments

    Friday, January 21, 2005

    SCGS investiture.

    Went for SCGS investiture yesterday. Oh man... certainly worth me ponning 3 lessons for it. Was very well-entertained and one to change my view tt external investitures are a waste of time to attend. The investiture was very simple... as in there wasn't much symbolism of handing over which an invest is supposed to be abt.. tt's why chs always put in so much effort and time into entries and exits and all the symbolic stuff. But to them, it's the item tt really brings them to the audience. the plot being typically simple with the princess managing to gan3 hua4 the bad guys to help her fight another bad baddie. but it's their acting and all the musicals. just rox. the gurus especially are damn damn damn funny ppl. oh man. greg tze siong and i laughed like shit... but i notice tt the other school ppl like quite lacklustre... nv laugh loh.. the most smile a bit. act cool. we are the most active ppl there i guess. all are so quiet. the reception even more funny. the SCGS prefects cant interact with us one lorh. din make us feel at home. only some could... so we end up talking to ex-SCGS prefects who are J1s in HCJC. tt was real entertaining. though they keep niaoing me abt being quiet... i wasn't tt quiet i guess.. just couldn't find topics to talk abt? hmm... in fact i feel surprisingly comfortable with these seniors. cant rmb their names though.. too many... i din know HCJC is so popular among SCGS girls. Tze Siong was the star last evening... as expected he is so happily chatting with the girls who just surrounded him. One look at him ppl ask, "do you have a brother in HCJC? the one with big ears?" HAHAHA. wonder what tze phern's gonna say on this. but siong says tze phern's very sensitive abt his ears being big so better not anyhow niao him. ooh and there is this VJC girl who's quite chio... i think she's eurasian... but... she's tall lah... haha.. after the invest... we met another sec 2 SCGS prefect on the bus stop and the bus 66... i was quite amazed by how composed she was when the 3 of us approached and talked to her. and tze siong's right, if we are to put our very own chs sec 2 to be surrounded by 3 sec 4 SCGS prefects tt guy's gonna pee his pants. LOL. but i damn zibei lah... SCGS girls are so tall.... bleah.

    haiz.. stupid ANG TZE SIONG... make greg and i go KAP eat with him. i was having a terrible sore throat lah. tt made me feel worse tt night. argh.. luckily this morning it's a lot better. tt idiot this morning ask me go eat with him and a filthy rich SCGS girl named Wonderline. ask me be gooseberry? no way lah... wont spoil the girl's happiness of being with him alone.

    going jack's house later.. bet we are going to have fun man. Stefanie Sun's Wo Ye Hen Xiang Ta very nice.... hmmm.. MRP.. what to do. haiz. blurred.

    posted by renar @ 1/21/2005 01:16:44 PM  0 comments

    Wednesday, January 05, 2005

    the marathon is on....

    school's getting busier... getting my first piece of work (oh gosh). damn sian. but for the first time since dunno when i actually come home and REVISED my work and done them.. except for some questions which i dunno... so too bad.

    saw dawei on e bus.. dunno why he so early for what.. haha..

    just realised today tt my classroom is the furthest from the staffroom as compared to e rest of the classrooms in CHS. tower block isn't tt "prestigious" afterall.. with lame steep and small steps, no toilet and so far away from the canteen. and it makes me feel just like normal lorh.. big deal man.

    all the teachers are okay.. except for this new teacher called Samuel Lim who's teaching IHC... he's a fucking gay asshole. dunno why the school likes to recruit gay teachers. Last year gohyy this year samuel lim... worse of all he's called samuel.. insulting samuel loh. haha.

    SUST mtg is totally crappy. first time ever it's so damn informal. up to the extend tt we just tok crap in it lah... ms seng is totally fei.. giving a presentation tt we already knew abt ages back. furthermore we had it in 4L... there wasn't even any sense of formality and we just treated it as a lame shit. we breaking off... gantb's not here anymore.. he's still indispensable. missed those times when he niaoed us in mtgs or give his serious opinions and views. and we just despise ms seng.. stuttering in front of us.

    think it's time to pia for council liaoz. i wanna get into the exco.. as in the Hwa Chong Institution Students Council Executive Committee. haha... 9 from high sch 9 from college i heard. dun care lah... adequate space for me to get in. hehe.. but no guarantee lah.. gotta work hard.

    this sat going jack's house.. muahahaha.. gotta be damn fun. then next friday got SLC mtg. haha.. must look at the FPP members. haha. SLC has been shortened to 4 days. and i doubt this year will be as fun as the 9th and 10th. major changes liaoz. hope gan can help us.

    as for my toe and my shoulder, i'll have it settled soon. no time to lose. i cant drag any further. yeap. no pt being frustrated or sad over it. yeah maybe it's my fate but i am not going to just give up like that. fate is always in my own hands.

    anyway i think this will be the last time i have time to blog... hw's piling very soon. cant tell myself. maybe i have time to blog tmr.. who knows??? lol. Hope everyone's having a great time around me.

    posted by renar @ 1/5/2005 10:00:06 PM  0 comments

    Tuesday, January 04, 2005

    second day.

    second day seems better... lol... brighter future. min kai damn lame... haha. png successfully won me over with his teaching of trigonometry. the weird but useful method to memorise stuff. honyp his usual slack self. nv changes. and my class apparently doesn't give a shit about him. anyway he wants us to complete holiday hw by this friday (gosh). then it was onglp. think we going to miss alot of english lessons every now and then as she struggles to juggle (wow, rhyme) HCIS and 4I. haha. limth seems to have developed a better sense of humour... though he's still as gay as b4... lam's the worst. he like damn blur type lah. really not we bully him until like siao. but i can see his immense interest in the physical world, esp when his already big eyes glow bigger when he shows us a "phenomena". should try to respect him and listen next time... i think i wasted the double physics period laming with cun bin and min kai. then recess time saw zilun. he asks me help him buy (in other words, cut queue). but he should have seen the whole queue first... all wearing long pants... haha... actually tt's not the main issue. another attribute of him is more impt in faking us as seniors. lol. ok lah try not to be mean. i also wanna grow taller. everyone's growing. algernon's taller than alvin... still rmb last year he was around the same height as me. what a grow. i wanna exceed 170 at least.

    anyway, fun stuff aside. got a bad news. went back to polyclinic to get my x-ray report. tt place sucks big time. 75% of the time there was spent waiting. and i guess the only good times there were talking to Dr Gwee abt school (she's from HCJC, '91 batch... super old senior.. lol) anyway my middle toe of the right foot apparent has deformed bones. all thanks to yida. yeap. how fat can he get man. now i have to travel all the way to NUH to see orthopathic to get it fixed. my shoulder haven even settle. tmr calling changi. worse thing is the stupid polyclinic nurse make me wait so long to get my x-ray films to bring when i go to NUH. say what cant find. oh man. then she help me fix the date on jan 11 in the MORNING... oh no i dun have sch... brainless. so in e end i have to call myself to change the date. and i fixed it at fed 11 only to be told by my mum tt we would be in malaysia... cuz it's chinese new year. tmr calling up again to change appointment. hope tt lady doesn't get pissed by my indecisiveness.

    damn sad lah. yi bo wei ping, yi bo you qi. i was quite sian then. din wanna talk. i admit i was wrong when i was in a harsh tone when i answered my mum's question. but all i want is to be alone and quiet. and apparently she can't stop lecturing me abt respect and all the crap. once she starts, she cant stop. she'll then dig out all the past en en yuan yuan and lecture. so i end up getting super pissed and shouted at her. and this part i insist i ain't wrong. no way. i am not wrong to ask for some time to myself. and she just dun seem to understand. so i not going to care. let it be. i did reflect on myself. but i just feel damn unjust. why the hell must everything be me? why must all the misfortune come to me? ppl play soccer i play soccer. i get deformed toe. ok. pro diao lah. i dun blame yida. he din mean it either. i just blame it on my luck. all these just make me lose faith in all the whatever deities or gods tt I worshipped b4. i was sincere, but apparently they took me as a joke. or maybe they forgot me. i am also human.

    if there is God, why did he make me if i was meant to be forgotten?

    anyway, i am feeling better now. cried it all out. and sua yu's blog played a huge part too. he's just so funny in his blog. haha. and intellectual too... a worthy sparker. lol. make me smile after reading it. damn funny the way he described and niaoed his new class. and i esp like the part he niaoed seow. gd one man. lol. HCJC sux indeed. ang wee hiong sux. he cant speak english lah. should just go back to china and farm. haha.

    everyone seems to blog abt sad stuff or happy stuff, but sua yu's blog is the first one tt really bring happiness to me.. haha.

    anyway, gotta go revise what was taught today.. hardworking huh.. haha. have to. no choice. especially when there's no guarantee tt we have exemptions this year. honcw is considering not to have it for Year 4s. fuck man...

    last thing. I just hope I am remembered by the Almighty. haha... kidding.

    posted by renar @ 1/4/2005 08:22:45 PM  0 comments

    Monday, January 03, 2005

    skool.

    back to school. classroom this year in tower block.. second floor. big deal. the feeling doesn't seem right to me at all. my class is still ever so sian. kep tian's gang being the usual guai lan style... min kai being lame again... form teacher is Png... quite a funny guy. expect some laughter throughout the year. new uniform is actually okay, just tt it doesn't look okay on me... shirt a bit big. haiz.

    this must be the worst opening day i ever have. feel very out of place. cant seem to gel into any cliques.... i can sense tt kep tian has become damn weird towards me since start of sec 3.. dunno if it's cuz of his new-found friends or is it cuz i am in sust. if being in sust will bring abt such shit i am out. lujie saying he's all ready, what damn energetic... blah blah blah. he's just got the drive, maybe also cuz everything he has done are nothing less than success. yeah i do have my fair share of success just tt i am getting sian. so i found the answer afterall. whether i run for council or not, slack or work hard in this year, the most impt thing is i am happy. yeap. just happy. what a simple wish.

    this year my resolutions are simple too... firstly is of course not to sleep in class again. to get this done i also came up with something which is to sleep between 2200 and 2230. ensure 8 hours of sleep. tt's most impt, dun care whether work finish, half done whatsoever. secondly is to be true to all the frens around me. thirdly is to focus on getting my shoulder cured once and for all. other things can wait, but not my health. i have waited for 3 years and tt's enough.

    let's just run for council. tze siong is right afterall... if i am to leave i do feel some sadness and bu she de feeling. not going to bother who join. be it terence fong or tristan loo, i am just going to work the same way i have done before. today as i see yida lujie kaihan and co helping out at the HCIS section i wanted to help too but Mr Gan din invite me to... or should i say i was avoiding him all this while.. esp after what has happened when i was in his house. he say to forget abt those things (he should sense tt) and start afresh... yeah rite. some things just cant be forgotten. as much as i respect him for what he has done for sust, i still despise him for doing tt. thus i just pon anything tt has him nowadays. doesnt matter lah.

    haha... sua yu's so funny. always so bubbly then make me happy. lol. his cheerfulness is contagious... even through msn messenger.

    guess that's all for the new year.

    posted by renar @ 1/3/2005 08:29:20 PM  0 comments